Shot Through the Heart by John Allan Mohammad. A light hearted look at love and sharpshooting in the new millennium. (With forward by Jon Bon Jovi)

Touched by an Angel: The Catholic Church Sex Abuse Scandal by Dennis Mitchell. "It makes me nostalgic for all those days I spent bent over my desk with my bible!" says Bishop Thomas O'Diddly.

Dude Looks Like a Lady: The Steven Tyler Story by Bebe Buell. An unauthorized look at the freakish, androgynous frontman of Aerosmith.

How I Learned to Quit Worrying and Love the Axis of Evil: The George W. Bush Story by Ari Fleischer. A touching tale of real life arch enemies who form a lasting friendship through their mutual love of weapons of mass destruction.

LOOKOUT! It's an Ugly Dwarf! by Ronnie James Dio. An uplifting tale of a handicapped youth who discovers the power of magic, and the true meaning of life.

How To Make Friends and Eat People: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story by Emeril Lagasse. An informative view of an oft overlooked but extremely talented chef.

Hungry for the Medicine: How to Finance Your $300 a Day Coke Habit by Robert Downey Jr. (with special forward by George W. Bush)

Tales of a Weapons Grade Nothing by Judayef Blumenzadeh. A humorous and at times touching look at Saddam Hussein's childhood experiments with anthrax.