It's bad chemicals in my brain. That's what Kurt Vonnegut would say. That's what makes me feel like this. And they're insidious. They sneak up on me, and they work quietly in the background where I won't really notice. Until there's a special moment when they can strike.

It makes it so when I lose a chess game, it's like it's a glaring example of my total incompetence at everything. Never mind that I'm better chess player than more than half of the chess playing population, because it's not a logical thing.

Girl decides she doesn't really like you so much, and doesn't want to see you anymore? It's because you're not good looking enough to be with her, and you're not nearly cool enough to compensate for that.

The Jets lost to a shitty football team and got knocked out of the playoffs because whatever bad that can happen, will happen, even to the football team you watch. The world sucks, and we're all going to blow each other up, because we're all stupid and evil... and there's no point in really doing anything at all, because it's all going to get fucked up in the end. It's better just to give up, right? Let everything fall apart, and ride its flaming, screaming corpse while chugging a beer, smoking a cigarette, and flipping everyone that Oi! signal with my fingers.

There's some little voice in my head that points out every little thing that I do wrong, and turns it into a total condemnation of myself as a human being. When it's done with that, it takes everthing that is outside of me, and condemns that too. It's just ridiculous, and it makes me fuck up my life, it doesn't make me better, by driving me, or anything.

It just makes me want to give up and lash out.

Basically, Doc, that's why I think you should prescribe a few BILLION milligrams of Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors for me, daily. Because, man, we've got to do something about these brain chemicals before they do something about us.