I can see how people would look at the the things I've written; I can hear how they'll talk about the way I was; I can remember how they'll reminisce

(Pronunciation: "re-m&-'nis

Function: intransitive verb

Inflected Form(s): -nisced; -nisc·ing

Etymology: back-formation from reminiscence

Date: 1829

: to indulge in reminiscence

synonym see REMEMBER) when I'm gone.

All at the same time it frightens me, sickens me, and warms my heart.